Mean Things I've Done To Dr Julian Bashir
by RavenDove
Summary: The means things I've done to Dr. Bashir, and the reasons why I do them. It's about revenge, self relization and healing. Last Chapter Posted
1. Strangest Of True Confessions

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter One: Strangest of True Confessions

---

This story is not like others that you have no doubt read in this place that is no place at all. It was never meant to be. It is a story with two parts. One is a lie, the other one true, but I fear there is more truth in the lie than I may ever be able to tell you. In telling it, I let you into the darkest parts of my fantasy mind.

It is a story of rape, revenge and finally of healing that comes where least expected. A story of hard times, and how we deal with the hurt that others give us, even if the hurt was never intended at all.

It has no beginning, no middle and no end, except within my own mind...

The first time I ever saw Dr. Julian Bashir grace my TV screen I was fourteen years old.

I had lived through my parents divorce only to watch the level of their fighting increase. I starved for love, attention and peace that could never be had in the place I called home.

At school I was just another face in the crowd. I had few friends, and struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia, and mental illness. Just icing on the cake of usual adolescent pressures. I cried constantly for help that was not there, because the world often does not hear.

At so young an age I had also been ill used by men and boys I had trusted. My naivety becoming their badge of twisted honor. All that remains of their crimes now are nightmares that I will not put in words.

I had been hurt in every way a person can, and I wanted death, for it was the only escape I saw.

Then there was that face, that voice. So charming and exotic. He visited my home faithfully each week without telling me I was worthless. He told me stories of distant worlds where there were happy endings. He was a healer with magic tools that took away pain. I wanted him to come and whisk me away to his space station in the sky; where he could heal all the hurts that no one else saw. I turned to that fantasy instead of suicide to escape the pain of my life.

Time passed... I grew older... I loved a real person... I lost...

Dr. Julian Bashir again returned to my mind with another role to play. Where before he was a savior, in my hurt mind he was a threat. He was the avatar of all things male. All things I found attractive, and since attraction had left me burned it was evil. Somehow I needed to even the scale.

Emasculation... Thus threat becomes victim...

Where my earlier fantasies were simple adolescent white knight fantasies of a savior. Now I became the abuser. I would hurt what had hurt me. I would have my revenge on men, if only in my mind. Dr. Julian Bashir was the perfect victim, because he wasn't real. He could not feel as I turned the knife.

It was in this time that I started to think up stories, though I would not write them. I was not ready to share them...

Life changed... I grew older... I found Real Love... I Married... I became a Mother... I began writing stories of all kinds, and somehow over time, I healed...

I still do mean things to Dr. Julian Bashir, but it's not the same. Over the years I've come to empathize more with him than with his tormentors. Thus my victim of choice becomes my own surrogated for Battered Sue. He is as my sister put it, my Battered Swen.

The circle comes round full. From wished for savior, to threat, to victim, to surrogate self, and in self saving me. By helping me to finally know, all the things I would not let myself feel. The pains I held in, in those dark moments when I would not let myself cry.

I know where the fantasy ends, but at times in my life Dr. Julian Bashir has been more real to me than I am. I have loved and loathed him as I have loved and loathed myself. Been both attracted and repelled by him at the same time. I bare for him now a strange love I can never explain. Perhaps it is gratitude.

I have written many scenes over the years in which Bashir takes the short end. They have served a purpose, and now I will share some of them with anyone who cares to read them. My they serve a purpose for you as well.

---

Just one note for actor Alexander Siddig who played the role of Dr. Bashir so well for seven years. If this should ever meet your eyes Sir, before you go out to file that restraining order, you really should know that. At this time in my life I am not interested in meeting you in person. I think you are a very talented actor, and I am sure you are a wonderful person. I just would never be able to look you in the eye without seeing the character you resemble so much. That's just one of the risks a person takes when they take on a role long term. I'm very sorry if this offends you. I am only trying to be honest with myself, and the World at Large.

Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff 12-21-2004


	2. The Fire Eye

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Two: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Fire Eye

---

The following is the first Dr. Julian Bashir story I wrote out. It is also my first failed Strange New Worlds entry and not my best work. I thought of choping it, but decided to leave it intackt.

Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

---

The alert klaxon rang all through the transport ship. Dr. Julian Bashir knew it was only a matter of moments before the warp core breached; leaving all souls a loss. He hadn't seen anyone as he made his way to the shuttle bay with Captain Kasguard. His only hope was the Teimian shuttle that stood before him. He helped his weakened charge up the ramp and into a seat and then helped Captain Kasguard strap in; knowing it was going to be a bumpy ride. Then once he was sure the hatch was sealed, he triggered the sequence that would open the bay to space. By the time the bay doors were half open he had already punched the engines. They barely cleared the opening, and were almost buffeted by the wave of the exploding ship. Debris caught the port nacelle, and Bashir wrestled for control.

When he was finally able to look at the aft monitors he could see nothing left of the Teimian transport. He could read escape pods, but no other shuttles. Their attackers flew one man fighters of a wedge shaped configuration that he had never seen before. They were coming right at the shuttle, and the Teimian craft was unarmed. Their only hope was to head for the Briar Patch. If he could lose them among the clouds of metron gas they might have a chance.

They had only gone a kilometer in when one of the fighters fired. Bashir managed to dodge. The next shot hit a gas pocket and took out all three pursuers. Unfortunately it hit the shuttle as well. They were thrown out of control.

Bashir had not strapped in and was thrown about the cabin. He struggled back to his seat and fastened the safety straps. Engines were gone so he used thrusters to steady them.

When Bashir had finally steadied the shuttle he unfasten the safety harness and checked on Captain Kasguard. She was uninjured, but he feared she had grown weaker. He ran a tricorder over the freighter Captain. Her body was rejecting the bio-technical Teimian Fire Eye. Humans and Teimians were close enough in physiology; it was the cellular damage in the old wound. She was only half conscious

He looked at her and sighed. Ziona Kasguard was a pure Dane. He long blond hair was streaked with white, especially at the temples, and it was disheveled. The left side of her face was beautifully unmarred and unwrinkled, but the right side was one big scar that ran from eyebrow to collarbone and ear to nostril. She was short, but powerfully muscled. Her one normal eye was watery blue. The right one had been replace by a glowing green orb that was a shade somewhere between; sagebrush, pampas grass and mint ice cream. It was the organic, engineered Fire Eye of a Teimian Seer. She wore the grey pants, vest, and white sleeveless shirt that were the freighter _Amazon_'s uniform. On the left side of her chest was a silver North Star shaped combadge. Concealing part of her right ear was a gold Bajoran earring. Captain Kasguard was in her mid-forties, and had once been a Starfleet Lt. Commander. She and her husband had even served on the _Saratoga_ with Captain Sisko, who called her "The Valkyrie".

It was a promise that Julian Bashir had made to Captain Sisko several months before that had led him to be on the Teimian transport with her. It had been seven years ago that Lt. Commander Kasguard had lost her right eye to a Romulan disrupter on Teimia. The neurological, and cellular damage had made a bio-synthetic replacement impossible. The Teimians had declared her chosen of the Seer's path. They had insisted on her accepting the endowment of The Fire Eye before they would agree to join the Federation. She had agreed to accept the Eye only on Bajor, the birthplace of her late husband Tana Elo who was lost at Wolf 359, but only when it was truly free. When the time drew near Sisko made Bashir promise as a physician to help the former Starfleet officer see it through. It was too bad that Ben Sisko was not there to see the day.

Julian leaned back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had brown eyes, short, neat dark-brown hair, tanned skin, and handsome features that betrayed his Arab ancestors. His Starfleet uniform was disheveled but untorn.

He had to get the engines running if they were ever going to get out there. Bashir took stock of systems and supplies. He had his med-kit. There were rations, and a working replicator. They had life support, navigation, thrusters, and minimal senors. Only the forward shields were working. The subspace radio wouldn't work in this part of the Briar Patch. Impulse was down, and the nacelles were venting plasma.

His priorities were simple. Stop the plasma leak before it ignited another gas pocket. Then restore impulse engines, and aft shields so they could exit the Briar Patch and call for help.

Julian took off his jacket, clipping his combadge to the vest that was underneath. He then found the emergency tool kit. Before heading aft he placed a hand on Captain Kasguard's shoulder. She stirred, but then returned to staring at nothing.

"Don't worry Ziona." he said, trying to comfort himself as much as her. "I promised I would see you through this, and I will get you to Teimia," he looked down at the floor, "but it may be without The Eye." He gently removed his hand from her shoulder and headed aft.

---

Julian swore under his breath as he dropped the palm beacon into the crevice beneath his head. He rolled onto his stomach to try and retrieve it, not an easy feat in such a tight space. He just got his fingers around it when a powerful voice called from outside the crawl space. He jumped hitting his head, and dropping the palm beacon again. He swore, but not under his breath this time. He grabbed the beacon again, and backed out of the confining space.

Captain Kasguard looked down at the grimy creature that crawled out of the wall. "I don't think I've heard that one before." she said, refereeing to Bashir's choice of expletive.

He looked up at her wiping a sleeve across his brow. "It's old Aramaic, and does not translate into standard."

"Oh!" she said, shaking her head. "I was just wondering if you knew we were adrift?" the way she put it was more a question of why.

Bashir stood, "Yes, we have been for the last twelve hours." He started in the direction of the forward cabin. "After I was able to shut down the plasma leaking from the nacelles I shut down the stabilizing thrusters to conserve power."

"That makes sense," she stated, "but we appear to be drifting further into the region."

Julian pulled the medical tricorder from his med-kit and passed the sensor over Ziona. "The currents will eventually bring us back out again." He paused a moment to look at the readings, and then repeated the scan.

"You have a very cavalier attitude about it." she said with clear annoyance.

He looked her in the eye. "If the impulse engines and shields aren't working, and we emerge to find more attackers it's a mute point anyway."

Julian folded up his tricorder. "At least it would appear that your body has stopped rejecting the eye." He reached out, and pulled back the brown eye patch that she customarily wore.

She flinched as light hit the orb, pulling away and recovering it. "It's a little sensitive."

"That just means that it is starting to integrate with what's left of your optic nerve." he said as he placed the tricorder back in the med-kit. "If you're feeling up to it I could use some help making repairs. The Teimia use bio-tech circuits in everything, and I've had to wire around most of the damaged ones." Bashir shook his head. "I wish Miles was here. I'll be the first to admit I'm a doctor and not an engineer."

Captain Kasguard chuckled, "Engineering is my son Michael's department, but I'll see what I can do to help finish what you've started."

The shuttle rocked beneath their feet. They both practically leaped to the two piloting stations, struggling as they ship rocked again.

Bashir examined the screens. "We're caught in a gravitational eddy."

Kasguard pointed out the front viewer. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

Bashir looked up. "If you see a ringed M-class planet, your seeing what I'm seeing, and we're being pulled toward it."

"Can we bring thrusters back on line?" Ziona asked.

"We can, But at the rate we're going we'll need them to land." Julian was already trying to calculate the course.

"I don't know anything about this region, but sensors are picking up a settlement." Ziona said.

"The Ba'ku," Julian answered the unasked question, "most information on this sector is classified, so I don't know much. I know they shun technology and their off-shot culture the Son'a tried to drag the Federation into their civil-war." The shuttle entered the atmosphere and Julian struggle with the controls. "Prepare for impact, this is going to be a hard landing."

Kasguard barely had time to fasten Bashir's safety harness before adjusting her own. "This is going to be one adventure I'll never forget." she said. "If I live to regret it." she added under her breath.

Julian wondered if he would ever see Ezri again as the shuttle impacted with the landscape. Her smile played with the fringes of his mind. Then there was blackness...

---

The sheets of the bed felt soft against Julian's skin. He slowly became more aware of his surroundings. The evening breeze through the window. The slender figure that had just entered the room. The soreness where the safety straps had cut into his chest. He needed to thank Ziona for that.

He stretched taking a mental inventory. Aside from bruises he seemed to be fine. He was naked under the thin sheets, and wondered where his uniform was.

Julian opened his eyes. The room was small but cozy. Ziona lay on a bed across from him, sleeping peacefully. The figure was a woman with dark-blond hair, and a kind face. She looked younger than him, but her blue eyes were ageless. Her long hair, and simple dress seemed to mark her as a Ba'ku.

The woman turned to look at him. "You're awake." there was a smile in her words. "My name is Anij."

Bashir swallowed before responding, "I'm Dr. Julian Bashir, of the Federation space station Deep Space Nine." He sat up slowly, and gestured to Ziona. "My companion is Captain Ziona Kasguard of the freighter _Amazon_." It wasn't the first time he had found himself grateful for Starfleet's new practice of using in the ear universal translators as well as the ones in combadges.

Anij smiled, "We don't get many offlanders here, but after what Jean-Luc and his crew did for us, Starfleet Officers are welcome here."

Julian put his feet on the smooth floor, careful to keep the sheet between him and Anij. "I don't suppose you know what happened to my uniform?"

She knelt, and pulled the neatly folded articles of clothing out of a basket on the floor. "One of the ladies in the village was kind enough to launder it for you." She handed the uniform to Bashir, and then reached into her pocket for his combadge and pips. "I'll go tell Sojef you're awake." At that she turned on her heel and left.

Julian dressed quickly, finding his boots at the foot of the bed. His jacket was missing, but he hadn't been wearing it at the time of the crash. His vest was still unfastened when he bent down to take a closer look at Captain Kasguard.

Even scared she was beautiful. She was as naked, as Bashir had been. They had even removed her eye patch. He looked closely at her scar, and could have swore it had faded in the hours since the crash. He wished he had his tricorder.

There was a knock at the door, and a tall man with curly brown hair, and blue eyes, dress in the same type of garb as Anij entered. "Is it alright if I call you Julian?"

Julian straightened up and offered the man his hand. "Yes, and you are?" his eye wondered to what the man was holding behind his back. It was his med-kit.

The man took his offered hand, "I'm Sojef." He then held the med-kit out to Bashir. "My son Atrim found this. He said you wore the color of a healer, and it is a healer's bag."

"Thank you." Bashir said with exuberance. He flipped open the tricorder, and began testing it for damage.

Sojef sat down on Bashir's now empty bed. "Atrim was right, I looked at the contents. You Starfleet people believe in being prepared."

Julian took a close scan of Ziona's scar. "Actually that's the motto of the Boy Scouts." He double checked the scan results with the ones he'd taken earlier. "That's odd."

"Who, or what are the Boy Scouts?" Sojef asked.

"A four- hundred year old youth organization from Earth that dealt in self esteem, and wilderness survival skills." Julian answered. "The things they teach are helpful, but I find my Academy training more through." He double checked his scans again, and then ran the sensor over himself. It all came back anomalous, and made no sense. His brow creased as he studied the results.

"What seams to be the problem Julian?" Sojef asked.

Bashir looked at the man with concern. "She appears to be regenerating neural tissue that has been dead for years, and my genetic structure is fluctuating slightly." He folded up the tricorder.

"Then you don't know about the effects of our atmosphere?" Sojef asked.

"I know that after Worf was exposed to it he appeared to be in better health, and better spirits than he had been since the death of his wife Jadzia." Julian answered.

Sojef chuckled, "As I understand it, while he was here he reverted to puberty."

Bashir shook his head, "Now there's a scary thought." He sat down in a chair at the foot of Ziona's bed. "You mean to tell me that the atmosphere of this world reverses aging?"

"Yes," Sojef answered, "the metaphasic radiation in the planet's rings continually renews the genetic structure."

"No wonder most of the information on this world is classified."

Part of Sojef couldn't help but feel sorry for Julian. "So what were you doing in the Briar Patch?"

"We were in route to Teimia when our transport was attacked and destroyed." Julian answered. "We escaped into the Briar Patch and were following the current while making repairs in hopes of finding a safe way out when a gravitational eddy drug us here." Julian took a deep breath, "Now we need to find another ship, and get to Teimia before they withdraw from the Federation."

"Why would they do that?" Sojef asked.

"Her accepting the endowment of the Fire Eye was part of the agreement." he gestured to Ziona, who was beginning to twitch all up and down her left side.

Julian stood, and scanned her again. "I'll need to shut down her mobile assist implants." His fingers danced over the tricorder's key pad as he made the adjustments. She stopped twitching, and her eyes began to flutter open. "Do you know where her eye patch is?"

"Anij has it." answered Sojef as he stood and headed for the door.

The door opened before he got there. "I was wondering if you will be joining us for the communal meal?" Anij asked.

Captain Kasguard reached up with her right hand to cover her eyes. "Dr. Bashir?" she called out.

Julian half sat on the bed, and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm right here Ziona."

"I can't move my left side." there was no fear betrayed in Kasguard's voice.

"I had to shut down some of your implants," Bashir explained, "the atmosphere of this world is causing your neural tissue to regenerate, and the implants to malfunction."

"Where is my eye patch?" she asked.

"Right here." Anij came forward, and helped Ziona position it.

"Thank you." Ziona said. She clutched the sheet over her chest, and awkwardly managed to sit.

Julian stood up as she swung her right foot to the floor. "Perhaps you should lay back down." He reached out a hand to steady her.

Kasguard shrugged him away and forced her left foot to take its place with the right one. "I haven't always had mobile assists Doctor." She looked at Anij, and then Sojef. "If it's not too much trouble, I would like my clothes back."

Anij grabbed the basket that she had pulled Bashir's uniform out of, and set it on the chair that he had just vacated. Bashir barely had time to grab his med-kit before she shooed both men out of the room.

---

Bashir looked to Sojef as the door closed behind them. "How old are you?"

"Old enough." he answered. "Anij and I are among those that came here to escape the outside. We don't want others to come here, and disturb the peace we have found. The crew of the _Enterprise_ proved that there are good offlanders. They didn't tell everything about this place to protect us. You and your friend will have to keep our secret as well."

Bashir nodded, "I'm sure I can convince everyone that her neural regeneration was caused by the Teimian Fire Eye."

Sojef was willing to accept that. "We don't have any working ship, but I know someone who can help you with that." Then he put a hand on Julian's shoulder and began leading him out the front door of the house.

---

Sojef had introduced Bashir to a man named Gal'na who lived on the edge of the village. Gal'na had been one of the more important Son'a, and the years away from this world still showed. He kept mostly to himself, but reluctantly agreed to help Bashir restore one of the smaller Son'a craft into working order. When they went to join the others for the evening meal Gal'na stayed behind. Sojef explained that Gal'na still did not feel comfortable among his own people.

Sojef had also given Julian a short tour of the village. It was a very beautiful place. The Ba'ku lived a simple life, and they all wore functional cloths of pastel and earth shades.

Now Julian sat at the long table near the center of the village by himself while others finished preparing food, or busied themselves with other chores. He looked up to find a blond boy of what appeared to twelve or thirteen staring at him. "Artim?" he guessed by the boy's resemblance to Sojef.

The boy took a seat across from Bashir. "Yes." the boy smiled. "What's your name?"

"Julian." Bashir answered. "Thank you for finding my med-kit." he said as he propped his chin in his elbow.

Again the boy smiled. "Dr. Crusher kept hers with her the whole time we were hiding in the caves." Artim set his hand on the table, revealing the small creature in his palm. "I guess healers always need their things with them."

Julian nodded, "It's true. That's an interesting little friend you have there." he pointed to the creature.

"He's a rhyl." Artim looked over to see his father approaching, and put the rhyl in his pocket. "I know," he said in a dejected voice as he stood, "don't bother the offlander."

Sojef raised an eyebrow, "Actually I was going to ask you if you had washed up." People were beginning to take their seats, and Artim did as his father said.

Bashir saw Captain Kasguard coming with Anij's assistance. He stood to lend a hand but was overcome with a wave of dizziness, and soon found himself on his hands and knees. He reached back for his med-kit, and scanned himself with the tricorder. The results were not good.

"Are you alright?" Sojef asked as he helped Julian back to his seat. By now Anij, and Ziona were at his side with concerned faces as well.

Bashir looked at the faces around him. "I just lost my balance." he lied, deciding it would be better to tell the three of them later. Without the other eyes and ears present. He tried to smile, "I haven't had decent meal since we left Bajor."

"Then you must be starving." said Anij, as she placed a heaping plate in front of him.

Julian's stomach growled at the strange scents, and he had to admit the food looked good. "More so than I would like to admit."

---

Julian drummed his fingers on the case of his tricorder as he paced in front of the fire. Anij was beginning to get dizzy watching him. "Why don't you have a seat Julian? Before you wear a rut in the floor."

Bashir looked from Anij to Sojef before sitting. Ziona had retired already, but that didn't make things any easier. "You told me that the metaphasic radiation in your planets rings continually renews your genetic structure."

Sojef nodded, "Yes." then thought a moment. "Does this have something to do with what happened at supper?"

Julian couldn't face him, only nod. "When I was very young, my genetic structure was severely altered."

"Why?" Anij asked.

"My father couldn't face the possibility of having a son that was below average," Julian began to pace again, "so he had me enhanced. It's not an easy subject to talk about. He was released form a penal colony only recently. He was sentenced to two years when the crime was discovered over twenty-five years later."

"What are you trying to say?" Sojef asked with concern.

Julian stopped in his tracks, and looked Sojef in the eye. "My genetic structure is slowly reverting to what it originally was, but there isn't enough of the original structure left for that to work."

Anij looked at him with a pained expression. "What does that mean?"

"If I don't leave this planet soon," Julian said seriously, "I will either died of completed synaptic failure, or my cellular structure will collapse."

"How much time do you have?" Sojef asked, fearing the worst.

Julian sat down again, and held up his tricorder so they could see. "A standard week at best, but if I don't exit the Briar Patch in a little less than four days the damage may be irreversible."

Anij and Sojef exchanged glances. Sojef then looked tat Bashir, "We'll just have to make sure that you leave here in time."

"I wish things didn't have to be this way." Bashir admitted sadly.

---

When Bashir had talked with Anij and Sojef, he had estimated that he had ninety hours. Sixty-four had passed since then, and the work of putting the Son'a shuttle back together from its half disassembled state went slowly. As the hours passed he found it harder to concentrate, and such simple things as speaking became harder. He forced himself to go on, but he had developed a slight stutter.

There was the sound of a tool hitting the ground followed shortly by a strange guttural sound. It was something of a cross between a purr, a rolled R and someone coughing up a hair ball. Ziona soon emerged from a hole in the side of the craft to retrieve the lost item.

Bashir was glad they had gotten their story about what had happened straight, the Ba'ku deserved to keep this world to themselves. "I-I don't believe I've h-heard that one before." he said as he continued checking connections. He winced at the sound of his own voice.

Kasguard sucked on an injured finger briefly. Her ability to move had improved greatly. She no longer wore the eye patch, and the Fire Eye had become more faceted on the inside as it integrated with her body. She had even began to have flashes of Seer trance, but saw nothing in them. Her scar was only a pink whisper, and her hair, which she had tied back in a loose bun, was missing the streaks of white. "I learned that one from my First Mate Fash, back when we were at the Academy. It only translates to something along the lines of, 'Your Mother'."

Julian just shook his head.

Gal'na emerged from the cockpit. "All systems are fully operational." he didn't look either of them in the eye. "All we have to do is fasten down the hull plates."

Bashir took a deep breath before speaking, "That shouldn't take long."

Gal'na smiled through his stretched face, "No, it shouldn't. You should be able to take off in an hour, and I've plotted the shortest possible course for you."

"Thank you Gal'na." Kasguard said with a smile.

---

The villagers had all bade them goodbye as they boarded the shuttle. It had only taken moments for the small craft to climb out of the atmosphere and past the planet's rings. The course would take twenty-three hours at the maximum safe speed. That only left Bashir two to spare, but if there wasn't a ship in range he still might not survive.

Ziona rubbed her temples, "I will be glad when this day is over."

"H-headache?" Julian asked.

"Yes."

"Your implants are c-causing it."

"You told me before." she said gently.

Bashir thought, "S-so I did." He shook a little. This was going to be a long ride.

---

Twenty-two hours passed, and Bashir prepared an encoded beacon. Captain Kasguard had succumbed to the pain and the vision trance three hours before. Julian was now unable to speak at all. He initiated transmission, then checked the auto navigation. All that was left was hope.

He leaned back in his seat. His mind drifted to thoughts of his life. The things that were, what might have been, and what would never be. He thought of his father and mother, of his comrades, and of Ezri. Slowly his consciousness faded...

---

On the bridge of the _Enterprise _Lt. Daniels looked down at the consol twice before speaking. "Captain, I'm reading an encrypted beacon." The officer shook his blond curls trying to make sence of it.

Captain Picard stood, straightening his jacket. "Slow to impulse." he ordered the officer at conn. "Mr. Data?" he asked his gold-skinned Operations Officer.

"It is a Starfleet encryption code." Data answered. "It appears to be a distress call coming from a two man Son'a craft that has just emerged from the Briar Patch."

"Bring us within range." Picard ordered the conn officer. "What does it say?" he asked Data. The bridge lighting reflected off the Captain's head as bent over the Second Officer's station.

"It consists of two numerical sequences." Data turned to face his commanding officer. "They are the service numbers for Dr. Julian Bashir, who is assigned to Deep Space Nine, and Lt. Commander Ziona Kasguard, Starfleet retired."

The names both sounded familiar to Commander Riker, and he stood to join the Captain and Mr. Data. The First Office was a dashing figure with his dark hair and tall build. Now that he'd aged a little he didn't look so baby faced without a beard.

Riker had first met Dr. Bashir after an experiment intended to analyze a piece of unknown technology had gone wrong and shut down Data's consciousness. That was how the android had discovered the ability to dream. Riker and the other _Enterprise_ crew members had met up with Bashir and other DS9 crew members on more than one occasion since. The fact that Worf and O'Brian had been assigned to the space station had helped.

The second name Riker knew from his time aboard the _Hood_. "Not Captain 'Valkyrie' Kasguard of the freighter _Amazon_?" he asked as he placed his hand on his chin in much the same manner that he had used to stroke his beard all the years that he'd had one. He'd heard much of Zi's war time exploits, though he didn't keep a running record.

"Yes," Data admitted, "is she not a friend of yours?"

Riker nodded, "Yes, but we haven't spoken since she left Starfleet. Weren't Bashir and her on that Teimian transport that was destroyed in this region a week ago?"

Data turned back to his station, "Their names were on the manifest."

Picard turned back to Daniels, "Are they responding to hails?"

"No sir." Daniels replied.

"Life signs?" Picard asked Data.

"Two humans, though one of them appears to be fading." the android responded. "There are two combadge signatures. One is Starfleet, the other is of the commercial type that the crew of the _Amazon_ use."

Picard pursed his lips, "Beam them both directly to sickbay, and tow their craft into the main shuttle bay."

---

Julian awoke to the familiar sights and sounds of a Starfleet sickbay. He tried to sit up, and found soft hands at his aide. They belonged to Dr. Beverly Crusher, so he knew without asking that it was the _Enterprise_ that had come to his rescue.

"Take it easy Julian." Beverly told him. She brushed back a lock of red hair that had slipped loose of her bun. "You might experience some dizziness."

"Were you able to revers the damage?" he asked in a horse voice.

"Just barely." she admitted. "I had to send to DS9 for your medical records. It will take a few more treatments before your genetic structure is completely stable, but you will make full recovery."

She went over to a replicator and asked for water, then she returned handing it to Bashir. "I have to admit that this leaves me with a bit of a moral quandary."

Bashir sipped the water gratefully, "No doubt the same one I've lived with most of my life."

Crusher nodded, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

Bashir shrugged, "Go ahead and ask.".

"Do you ever wish that your father hadn't taken you to Adigeon Prime?"

Julian thought a moment before answering. "I'd be lying if I said no," he admitted, "but what ifs don't change the facts... I think M.J. Balla put it best when she wrote 'The Seeds of Peace'." He quoted the pre-Cochrane book of Philosophy. _"I cannot change who my father is. I can only forgive him, and love him in spite of himself. For though he may do wicked things; he is still my father."_ He took another sip of water. "It took me years to understand that."

Dr. Crusher ran a tricorder over him. "I suppose that could apply, but M.J. Balla was born in the 1970s, and her father was an abusive alcoholic that didn't pay child suport to spite his ex-wife."

"How is Ziona?" Bashir asked to change the subject.

Beverly set the tricorder down. "She's been doing just fine since I removed her mobile assist and synaptic implants. Commander Riker is giving her a tour of the ship." She loaded a hypo-spray, and injected it into Julian's neck. "The metaphasic radiation actually made the Teimian Fire Eye integrate more thoroughly into her body than it would normally do, while at the same time causing her body to reject the purely technological implants." Just then Captain Picard entered with Commander Riker and Captain Kasguard in tow.

Riker shook Captain Kasguard's hand, "I have to get back to the bridge, but it's been nice talking to you again Zi." Riker turned to leave, "Don't be a stranger." The First Officer left with a grin on his face.

Bashir took a good look at Captain Kasguard from across the room. Her golden-blond hair had been braided, and pinned around her head. Aside from the green glow eminationg from right eye socket she looked like a purfectly normal thirty year old. Captain Sisko had told him she had always looked young for her age, and been a truely stunning figure before the incident on Teimia. Now Julian knew he hadn't been exagerating.

Picard and Kasguard made their way over to where Dr. Crusher was helping to ease her patient back onto his biobed. "How are you feeling Dr. Bashir?" Picard asked.

"I don't know." Bashir responded. "How should I feel Dr. Crusher?"

"Very lucky." Beverly answered as she went to attend to another patient.

"I'll be fine Captain." Bashir reasured Picard.

Picard nodded, "We should reach Teimia in two days. Dr. Crusher tells me you should be well enough to be release from sickbay by then, and arrangement can be made for your return to DS9."

"That sounds good to me Captain." Bashir admitted. "Though what about the attack on the transport?"

"Teimian separatists." Picard said bluntly. "Most of their number were killed in the attack, and the High Seer has assured me that they are no longer a problem."

"You will have fulfilled your promise Julian." Ziona added in a comforting tone. "I think Ben would be proud."

"Yes." Bashir admitted, "I think he would." and for the first time since the ceremony of the Fire Eye, he began to relax.

---


	3. Mary Sue Meets Battered Swen

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Three: Mary Sue Meets Battered Swen

---

This chapter is a section from a self insert that I wrote a few years back. No it isn't that great. It is very much the bane that all self inserts have become. but in light of my own self realizations it becomes quite interesting when I have Dr. Bashir and his friends at a disadvantage.

Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

---

"She appears to be human, but not exactly in the best of health." Dr. Julian Bashir admitted, looking up from his scanner. "She is suffering from the combined effects of several genetic diseases, long term exposure to various toxins, repetitive injury to most of her joints, and her blood contains traces of drugs that haven't even been manufactured in over a century and a half."

Commander Benjamin Sisko sighed, "Her cloths are like something out of the late twentieth century." Sisko thought a moment. "Can you scan her for chronoton particles?"

Bashir's brow furrowed, "I don't usually do that but I think I can reconfigure the scanner." The doctor pressed a series of buttons and furrowed his brow even further. "I'm not only picking up chronotons. There is also a slight elevation of tachyons around her."

Sisko looked down at her delicate face framed by short locks of ash. There was a delicate silver dove earing in each of her ears and a black onyx tear drop above the dove in the right ear lobe. The left lobe only bore a scar where the tear drop should have been. It, was a wonder that she had any jewelry left at all having materialized in Quarks. Only the earrings, a steel ID tag and a hematite anklet that had been tucked in her sock remained, but marks on her finger's and indicated there had been more. He turned the old-fashioned metal ID tag on her neck so he could read it.

JEPPESEN-HUFF,  
LYDA MAE  
A.K.A. RAVENDOVE  
BIPOLAR DISORDER,  
ASTHMA

A pale, delicate hand enclosed his, "I'd let go if I were you." Lyda's brown eyes had fire in them, and Sisko did exactly what she said. Bashir offered her a hand as she tried to sit up and she accepted it.

"I'm Commander Benjamin Sisko . . . "

"And he is Dr. Julian Subatoi Bashir." Lyda interrupted pointing to the doctor.

"How did you know my name?" Bashir asked in shock.

"Because none of this is really happening. I'm safe at home, and I've fallen asleep with the television on." she replied in denial.

"Where exactly are you from Leeda, and do you have any idea how you ended up in Quark's?" Sisko asked.

"Lie-da Mae."

"Come again?"

"My name," she answered, "the Y is pronounced as a long I; not a long E."

"I'm sorry Lyda Mae, would you please answer my questions?"

"The last thing I remember is being in the temple of Sinawava on the fifteenth of Feb. 2002." Lyda looked at her stocking feet. "It was nearing dusk, and I had stopped to shake the rocks out of my shoes. There are superstitions about taking things from places where old gods are suppose to dwell, and I have enough trouble in my life without chancing them."

"What happened next?" Bashir asked with interest.

"The Trickster came out of the river and look me straight in the face; then I land on a Dabo table, pass out and wake up here." she was beginning to rant. "Here of all places, and judging by your uniforms the Dominion wars haven't even started yet."

"Dominion wars?" Sisko was not sure what to make of this woman.

Lyda took a good look at Sisko for the first time."You're still a commander and you haven't grown a beard yet." by now she was pacing the room nervously."Is this after the Circle?"

"You mean the Cardassian plot to make the federation pull out of Bajoran space." Sisko nodded the affirmative along with Lyda and Bashir. "We are still in the process of recalling evacuated personnel."

"You'll just have to evacuate them all again very shortly for a major plasma storm." Lyda stopped in her tracks and looked right at Sisko with her hands behind her back in a very Daxesque fashion.

Sisko gazed at her intensely, "How do you know all this?"

"The same way I know that it took the Prophets to help you get past Jennifer's death, and Dr. Bashir hides behind bluster because he has a self confidence problem that stems from a self revelation when he was fifteen years old." she turned to face Bashir. "It's the same reason he insists on going by Julian instead of Jules." Bashir looked away with shame. "To me this is a dream universe that they make movies about, and write epic novels about. I'm not just from back in time compared to you. I'm from a time line where the Eugenics wars never took place. A place where Khan Singh was never born, but an actor that looks remarkably like him was." She leaned against the diagnostic bed and sighed. "Like I said; I'm dreaming."

Sisko thought on that a moment. "I seem to remember a pre-Cochrane philosopher who said that even the dreams of men have substance, but I never could understand what she meant."

"If I'm really here it begs the question of who dreamed who into existence."

Bashir shrugged, "So far as I know I was real when I got up this morning, and as a doctor I would prefer to leave the rest of this discussion till after my patient has been treated."

Sisko shook his head as he turned to leave the infirmary. "We'll have to figure out what to do about your presence in this time line later Lyda Mae."

Bashir helped Lyda back onto the bio-bed and checked to make sure no one was within ear shot. "Just how much do you know?"

"Enough to understand what accelerated critical neural pathway formation is." Lyda answered. "I'm not going to tell anyone because the day will come when they find out on their own anyway."

"Can you tell me how or when?"

"No Doctor," she sighed, "but I can tell you that you will not be left without defenders. Your friends will know you for what you really are by then, and they won't see the monster that you see in the mirror."

Bashir nodded accepting her answer. "So would you mind telling me if the Valproic Acid was proscribed for seizures, migraines, or the bipolar disorder mentioned on your ID tag?"

"All of the above," Lyda admitted, "but the seizures aren't true seizures because they don't register on an EEG."

"That's because you carry the gene for Mayes Syndrome, and Mayes Syndrome seizures aren't caused by electrical disruption in the brain." Bashir worked the controls on one of his instruments as he pulled the apparatus over to the bio-bed. "I can suppress the gene as well as the one for bipolar disorder if you're willing to lie still for a while." He then pulled a gown from a storage cabinet. "I can also correct the curvature of your spine while I'm at it."

"Can you cure my allergy to peppers as well?" she asked, taking the gown.

"Yes," he said finishing the adjustments on the apparatus, "you can change in that side room over there." he pointed to a room off the side of the main one. "Anything I can't correct I can at least make more bearable," he shrugged, "everything but your eyesight. Ambliopia is still only successfully treated in small children."

Lyda emerged from the side room struggling to tie the gown. "That's alright. I'm use to a one-sided view of life."

"Why didn't they catch that when you were little?" Bashir asked asked tied her gown.

"They weren't looking."

"Oh."

Commander Sisko was sitting alone in his office contemplating his autographed baseball. He wasn't sure about anything at the moment. Vedics Winn and Bareil were both due from Bajor tomorrow, along with several ministers to discuss affairs now that the circle was exposed for what it was. The arrival of Lyda Mae Jeppesen-Huff in Quark's could not have come at a worse time. Sisko looked up as the door chimed, "Come in."

Constable Odo entered, "Commander."

Sisko placed the ball back on its stand. "Did you find something interesting Constable?"

Odo handed the Commander a PADD, "Yes actually. The Temple of Sinawava is in Zion National Park on the North American continent of Earth, but you probably already know that."

"I went there on a field trip once in grammar school."

Odo nodded, "Since that's in the old state of Utah I started my search there going by the date she gave and what Dr. Bashir estimates her age to be."

"What did you find?"

"According to the LDS Family History Library in Salt Lake City, Utah, Lyda Mae Jeppesen was born November 6, 1978 in Tooele, Utah to Jay R. Jeppesen, and Marlene E. (Jacobson). Died February 28, 1983 of a respiratory infection, and was interned in the Provo, Utah City Cemetery."

Sisko confirmed the facts from the PADD he had been given. "Have you requested that the body be exhumed for DNA confirmation?"

"I have," the changeling's face grew long, "but the results wont arrive until day after tomorrow at the earliest even if any surviving relatives don't object."

Sisko stood up and place the PADD on his desk. "I guess we'll just have to wait for the results to arrive Constable. Until then keep a close eye on our guest, but try not to crowd her."

Odo nodded as he turned to leave, "Understood Commander."

The LDS Family History Library is located across the street from Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Bashir led the bare foot Lyda Mae from the Infirmary to Garak's Tailor shop. "Are you sure about this?"

"He's the best clothier around." Lyda answered clutching the parcel that was her jacket, knapsack and shoe. She wore blue jeans and a pink T-shirt over light-blue long underwear.

Julian looked back at her raising an eyebrow, "But do you really intend to blackmail him?"

"I need the cloths Julian." she said sarcastically as she passed him and stepped into the shop.

"I'm sure you could make arrangements with Commander Sisko to pay for them, or if you like I'll pay for them." he said, pulling her to a halt.

She turned to face him, "Why should someone else pay my way Julian? You already suspect the man of being a spy, and I'm just dealing in information like him."

Julian's expression grew sour, "I still wish you wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what Doctor?" Garak asked as he entered the main room of his shop.

Lyda looked at him then thrust her bundle at Bashir. "Alright you make the arrangements to pay, but I'm still going to enjoy myself, and if something happens to me Starfleet will have a suspect."

Julian sighed relief as he took the bundle. "Garak, I'd like you to meet Lyda Mae Huff."

Garak took Lyda's hand, "No doubt the lady that dropped in on Quark's establishment earlier." he kissed the delicate hand.

"Small station." Lyda commented back. "Julian and I were just discussing how Mila would be a good name for a pet rengar."

Garak looked up at her with a start.

"Out of curiosity Mr. Garak," Lyda continued, "as a Cardassian, what is your opinion of Hebitian poetry in general."

Garak released her hand, his composure only the slightest bit shaken. "I don't usually discuss such subjects madam."

"More's the pity." Lyda clucked.

Julian put a hand on Garak's shoulder to steady him. "She seams to have this effect on everyone Garak. She's from an alternate time line, and has knowledge of future events."

"But at the moment I'm stuck here and need cloths."

Garak shook his head with renewed resolve as he picked up a measuring tool. "Does the lady have an idea what she wants?"

Lyda stood straight with a coy smile. "I know exactly what I want."

"I'll make arrangements from Payment . . . "

Garak interrupted, "I have the distinct feeling that won't be necessary Doctor."

"Are you sure?"

Garak ran the measuring scanner over Lyda, "Quite."

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine #27: A Stitch In Time by Andrew Robinson:)

Lyda took one last glance at herself in the clothier's full length mirror before joining Julian at the front of the shop. She now wore a medium-brown full length wrap around skirt and jacket with a tan blouse dark brown mid-calf boot and belt topped off with a matching leather Dutch cap that was cocked to the left. The buckles on her belt, boots and jacket were all silver, as was the small angel on the front of her cap. The outfit was versatile, she had designed it so that the skirt could be removed revealing a pair of tan pants that matched the blouse. She wrapped a medium-brown scarf around her slender neck and picked up her knapsack. Oddly enough she had actually found room in the bag for her old cloths and all of her new acquisitions, accept what she currently wore, and still had room left over.

Garak made a finale check to make sure the outfit wore just right. "You have an eye for design my dear." he admitted with a touch of dry envy in his voice.

"Thank you Mr. Garak, but it does not come without some experience."

Julian was leaning on a counter near by, "The shades you chose really bring out the color of your eyes."

Lyda blushed, "I always try to play off my best feature. After all if people are looking at my eyes they don't see how big my nose is."

Julian came forward and bent a little to scrutinize her face. "I don't think it's big at all."

"Don't try to flatter me Julian," she replied in a manner the indicated her good humor was wearing thin, "I'm a married woman." She looked down at her left hand and then held it up for both men to see. "Speaking of which, I need to see a certain Ferengi about a missing ring."

"I think we'd best be going then." Julian looked to Garak, "Are we still on tomorrow for lunch?"

"Yes," Garak replied as he began putting bolts of cloth away, "and by all means bring Ms. Huff along."

Julian nodded and followed Lyda out of the shop.

Lyda strode into Quark's calmly with Julian on her heals. Quark was tidying up behind the bar and turned to face them. "I'll get you whatever you want Doctor, but your new friend owes me for the damage to my dabo table."

Lyda braced herself against the bar reached over and grabbed Quark by the lapels. "Stow it! Where are my cartuce, wedding ring and seal? I know I was wearing them when I disappeared, and when I passed out in here, but they were gone when I reached the infirmary."

At that moment Constable Odo entered the establishment. "Is there a problem here?"

Lyda replied without taking her eyes off of her captive. "Not at all Constable, I was just inquiring about some missing property of mine."

One of Quark's Ferengi waiters stumbled in from the storage room and Julian saw him drop something shiny. He bent to pick it up but the Doctor stopped him. "I believe I found your cartuce," he said as he took a good look at it. It was about 1.25 centimeters wide by 4.25 centimeters long, made of silver and strung on a red cord with two small silver beads on each side. On the front was the name Lyda rendered in Arabic script, and on the back was Lida spelled out in bold English letters. "but you name is misspelled on the back."

Lyda let go of Quark and shrugged as she took the pendent from Julian. "It's always been like that." She put it around her neck, "A relative had it made in Kuwait, and I don't know if it was him or the jeweler that got it wrong."

Odo took out a tricorder and scanned the waiter. "Is there anything else of yours missing?"

"My wedding ring, seal, watch and healing bracelet." Lyda answered. "The stones are probably worth more than the metal."

"Can you describe them?"

"Ten karat gold, slender band, heart shaped bezel, three tiny low grade diamonds at top of the left loop, and one large tear drop shaped blue topaz set upside down to the heart." she paused. "Oh! And one of the three prongs that held the topaz was slightly deformed." she paused again, "The seal was worthless to anyone but me. It was made of lusterum and had a simulated sapphire, but it had my names on it. Both my given name and the English translation of the name I was given among the Cherokee; which is Joy. The watch was a silver ladies Timex Indiglo on a green Iron Man band. As for the bracelet; it was copper with brass trim, silver sanscrit writing and two silver mounted carnelian."

"He's hiding the rings in his head skirt, and the bracelet and watch in his left jacket pocket." Julian plucked the skirt from the waiter's head and the waiter removed the other stolen items from his pocket. They were all handed to Lyda who slipped them on and then polished the rings against her jacket. Odo examined the head skirt more closely, "Huh! A secret pocket." He then turned to Quark, "How much would you say the wedding ring is worth anyway."

Quark took Lyda's hand in his own and examined the ring, then estimated. "I'd give two strips of latinum for the topaz because of how brilliant the color is, but I'm a bar tender and don't know much about the gem market." he let go of her hand. "That doesn't settle the matter of my damaged dabo table."

"Oh yes it does Quark," Lyda smiled, "because in exchange for my not pressing charges you can take it out of your sticky fingered waiter's pay."

At this, the waiter finally found voice to object, "But that will cost me more than the lot was worth!"

Odo humphed, "You should have thought of that before you took the lady's jewelry in the first place."

---


	4. I Shall Not Break

Mae Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (Or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Four: I Shall Not Break

88888888

The partialy finished story that was called _I Shall Not Break_ was lost during a systems upgrade due to a back up failure. It was a rather nice bit of work that began with Julian waking up in an uncomfortable condition in a rather small crate bound for the Dominin Prison camp that featured into the story of the Fith season episodes _In Purgatory's Shadow_ and _Buy Infirno's Light. _I perticularly liked the sadistic vorta Doctor I'd created and the flash backs to the medical confrence he was abducted from, but sadly I will never be able to recreated as it was.

So I will simply suggest that you read my posted story _Possesion Of The Page_ in the place of chapter four and then continue with chapter five of this story as posted. Since _Possesion_ was the next Bashir story I wrote anyway. Perhapse it will help the both the previous and proceeding chapters make more sense.

Lyda Mae Huff

88888888


	5. Nightmares

This chapter is really the Fifth one. There is a story I started about how Bashir ended up in that detainment camp in the fifth season that I can't find right now. When I find it I'll put it up.

---

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Five: Nightmares

---

This Chapter is kind of my working a few things more recent out and makes no sense at all.

Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

---

_Sarina Douglas had spent most of her life in a prison made of her own body. Julian had set her free from that prison, but when the world got to be to much to handle she was able to retreat back into her own mind. Some might find that to be a curse, but right now it was a gift. A gift she was able to give to those who had been closest to her in life, because whether she cooperated with her captors or not she fully expected to die._

---

Captain Kira Nerys looked Lt. Commander Zel Andrus in the eye with anger and threw the padd he had brought on her desk. "I may have no choice but to go along with these orders, but that doesn't mean I have to like them, or you for that matter Commander."

"Admiral Nechayev was very clear Captain." Andrus said with a poker face.

Commander Elias Vaughn put a hand on Kira's shoulder. "Captain, I've known Admiral Nechayev for some time," he said, "and if she thinks this is necessary she has good reason."

Kira turned back to Andrus and tried to size him up. He was a short man. Easily half of Vaughn's hundred plus years. With thinning white hair and dark eyes that spoke volumes and hide everything at the same time. She took a breath, "Computer located Dr. Bashir."

"Dr. Bashir is in the infirmary."

"Is there anyone else in the infirmary?" Kira asked.

"There are two other officers in the infirmary besides Dr. Bashir."

"Computer please identify the other officers in the infirmary?" asked Kira.

"Dr. Simon Tarses, and Nurse Sejax Amrid."

"Now would be the best time Captain" said Andrus.

Vaughn nodded agreement.

Kira slapped her combadge. "Kira to Lt. Ro."

"Ro here Captain."

"Meet me outside the infirmary in five minutes with two of your most discreet men," Kira said, "Kira out."

Kira grabbed a data rod from a box and made her way to her to stand in front of the holo-communications array on the side of the room. She inserted the rod into a slot and activated the record function. "I'm sorry I couldn't warn you Julian..."

---

Ro Laren stood outside the station infirmary with Ensign Samno and Crewmen Calari. Something about this situation didn't feel right and it wasn't just the fact that she was back in a Starfleet uniform. The Promenade was nearly empty at this time of day with mostly shopkeepers preparing for the mid-day rush of lunch. She saw Kira and Vaughn coming with four officers who must have been from the Hades since she didn't recognize any of them. Two of them a benzite male and a short dark haired human woman wore blue and carried medical bags. The other two were dressed in gold, and though the younger man was obviously security, the older man looked more like intelligence to her.

Once the group reached Ro's position she stepped in line beside Kira. "What's going on?"

"Commander Andrus has orders to take Julian into custody." said Kira not quite able to look Ro in the face.

"Why?" Ro asked with barely disguised anger.

"We don't have time for this now Lt." said Vaughn. "You have your orders."

Ro looked into the Commander's eyes, and saw he didn't like this either. She turned to her men. "You heard the Captain this is Commander Andrus's show."

---

Julian was in the back of the infirmary going over inventory with Dr. Tarses and Nurse Sejax when two security officers stormed the room and pointed phasers at him. "What is the meaning of this?" he yelled as they grabbed him pinning his arms behind his back.

He turned to the door and saw Kira and Vaughn standing behind a Lt. Commander he didn't know.

"Dr. Julian Subatoi Bashir it is the belief of Starfleet Command that you are a danger to yourself and others." said Andrus. "I am hereby ordered to take you into custody and transport you to an appropriate facility for psychiatric evaluation."

Bashir first grew pale and then began to tense with anger. "And what if I don't want to cooperate."

Kira spoke up, "You don't have a choice in the matter Julian." She stepped closer to Bashir and put her hands on his shoulders. Bashir looked down, unable to look her in the face. "Look at me Julian." she said. He didn't comply but she continued anyway. "I promise you I will get this straightened out. I will get you back if I have to take it up with the Federation President in person."

Julian looked up with a plea in his eyes. "I'll hold you to that Captain."

Andrus cleared his throat, "My orders are to transport him to the institute either restrained and sedated or in stasis."

"Is that really necessary Commander Andrus?" Kira snapped at the man with more than a little anger.

"Those are my orders Captain." Andrus said.

Julian looked at Andrus with hurt in his eyes. "Do I have a choice?" he asked.

"If you cooperate." Andrus said with a nod.

"I'm going to file a formal protest about this Andrus." said Kira.

Julian breathed deeply. "Stasis, but have Dr. Tarses put me under here."

Kira turned back to Bashir, "Are you sure?"

"Captain," said Bashir looking into her eyes with more fire than before, "Nerys, I don't want to be conscious when they drag me across the Promenade."

Kira nodded with understanding.

Andrus tapped his combadge. "Andrus to Hades, were going with plan Beta two."

"Acknowledged Commander."

The medical personnel with Andrus moved some instrument trays out of the way and portable stasis chamber materialized in the center of the room. One of the medical personnel stepped forward and introduced herself. "I'm Nurse Milia Kent from the institute." She set a case on the exam table in front of Bashir. "You'll find a medical gown and some slippers in this case. Put them on and put your uniform, boots and combadge inside."

Bashir looked at all the people in the room. "Could I have a little privacy?" he asked.

Simon Tarses finally got up the courage to step forward. He went over to the gold shirts still holding Julian's arms. "There's a changing area over there." he pointed to a privacy screen. "If you'll be so kind as to let him go I'll make sure he doesn't sneak out the back."

The gold shirts looked to Commander Andrus, who nodded his head. They let go and Tarses grabbed the case and took Julian's arm pulling him behind the screen.

Kira looked at the gold shirts then glared at Andrus.

Zel Andrus had learned over the years how to tell when someone had been pushed too far, and Kira was definitely at that point. He cleared his throat again and turned to the security officers. "I think you can wait outside gentlemen."

The two gold shirts left and Bashir stepped out from behind the screen and walked over to the nearest bio-bed while being careful not to look at anyone else. Dr. Tarses began the cursory medical scans procedure required and Kira turned around unable to watch anymore. She would make someone answer for Julian's humiliation. He didn't deserve this, no matter how necessary Admiral Nechayev thought it was.

---

Nog had been passing the infirmary when he heard a scuffle inside and looked in to see Lt. Ro and another security officer standing on either side of the entrance to the patient ward as Captain Kira, Commander Vaughn, and two medical personnel went in. He ducked back behind the wall and turned his head so he could try and hear what was happening. All he could make out was "Taken into custody" and "Psychiatric evaluation." Then a few minutes later he heard Captain Kira threaten a formal protest. There was the distinct sound of a Federation transporter and what sounded like two more security officers walking out.

Nog stole a second glance. This looked serious. He move back against the wall and waited. Then he watched as a stasis chamber was maneuvered out and he saw Dr. Bashir inside. He turned to see Lt. Dax running across the Promenade toward the stasis chamber and Captain Kira, who had left the infirmary behind the security guards, grabbed her arm. Kira then whispered something in Ezri's ear and passed her something.

---

Ezri was suppose to meet Julian for lunch and had headed for the infirmary only to see them taking Julian out in a stasis chamber as the lunchtime rush on the Promenade began. She started to run to him but Kira stopped her.

"He's just going to visit Patrick and Jack." Kira said into Ezri's ear. "I promise you he won't stay long." She slipped the data rod she had recorded into Ezri's hand. "Pack him a bag of things he might need and put this in it. After you take his bag to the Hades pack yourself a bag and meet Commander Vaughn at runabout pad C."

Ezri looked at Kira with a puzzled expression. "Why are they taking him in stasis?"

"It was his choice Ezri." said Kira. "Elias will explain."

Ezri took a breath to compose herself nodded and hurried back to the quarters she shared with Julian.

---

Vaughn was waiting outside the runabout airlock when Dax arrived out of breath and looking somewhat flustered. She started to ask him where they were going but he ushered her into the cockpit. "When were underway Lieutenant." Dax stowed her bag and took the copilot's seat while Vaughn rushed through the preflight check. "Runabout Amazon requesting clearance to depart." said Vaughn.

"Ops to _Amazon_," Kira's voice said over the com, "clearance granted, and good luck."

The airlock retracted, the hatch opened and the landing pad rose permitting the runabout to lift off and reorient towards its destination. It was only then that Vaughn spoke. "We're going to Carddassia Prime Lieutenant." he said.

Ezri started to ask more but Elias raised a hand to stop her. "Julian is being taken to a secure location because a group of evolutionary purists have been making threats against people who have undergone genetic resequencing." Vaughn said. "They've taken responsibility for the murders of doctors on Adigeon Prime, Farius Prime and Risa who are suspected of preforming genetic enhancement. And they've taken a genetically enhanced woman prisoner."

"Who?" Dax asked.

"Sarina Douglas." said Vaughn. "I am aware that both you and Julian know her." he turned back to the controls. "We are to enlist the help of Miles O'Brien and meet with Lt. Commander Andrus, then split up and look for clues about where they might have taken Ms. Douglas."

Dax was beginning to understand what was going on, but not all of it. "Why did they take Julian away in stasis?" she asked.

"Admiral Nechayev thought it best if it looked like Bashir was taken away for psych evaluation." Vaughn looked down with mild shame. "We couldn't warn him first, and he was given the choice of being dragged across the Promenade in a stasis chamber or a straight jacket."

"Does he even know what's happening?" Ezri asked.

"No," said Vaughn, "and he wont find out till he reaches the institute."

"The data rod Kira told me to slip into his bag?"

"Was an apology." said Vaughn. "Julian gave me a message for you before Dr. Tarses put him under."

Ezri looked at Vaughn sad eyes.

"He said to tell you he loves you." said Vaughn.

That hung on the air for a long moment and both officers turned silently to the duty of piloting the runabout.

---

Nog couldn't believe what he'd seen or heard. He'd struggled with it for more than an hour when he finally entered Captain Kira's office.

---

TO BE CONTINUED

MAYBE?


	6. Throw Away

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Six: Throw Away

---

It was the writing of this scene that lead me to the realization of what I've been doing all of these years. It was intended as part of a throw away story, that in writing this part I realized was just part of my mind trying to make sense of something that I'm just starting to grasp. I've thought up and outlined many other things for Dr, Bashir to endure. Many of them much worse than what I've actually written out so far. I'll deal with those things when I'm ready.

Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

---

Julian had taken worse beatings in his life. He could distinctly remember one inflicted by a Jem'Hadar when he had first arrived at a detainment camp over four years before. The cut on his right shoulder stung and the thin grey pants that his jailers had given him to wear were now stained with blood from when the wound had reopened during his beating. He sat with his legs crossed on the floor of his empty cell and tried to focus his mind in silence the way he had learned when he was in that detention camp. When he'd been informed by his fellow detainees that his usual rhythmic breathing techniques were annoying. When it was the hardest to focus was the time meditation was needed the most. He had survived two months as a Dominion prisoner, countless battles, plagues, bio weapons, and a psyonic attack by a Lethean. A few cuts and bruises were nothing.

He still needed to learn what his captors wanted. They said he was a crime against nature, but that was hardly a secret any more. If they were out to fix the wrong they saw in his existence why not just kill him and be done with it. No, they wanted something. Information? They'd made a half hearted attempt at interrogating him, but they were just getting started. No, Julian thought, it was more than that, but exactly what he didn't know.

The door opened loudly, but Julian refused to acknowledge it. He would not give them the power to make him flinch. His jailers always wore masks, and used machines that distorted their voices. He heard the voice of the one who seemed to be in charge standing behind him.

"Not even phased by our brutality I see." said the stalky figure.

"Should I be?" Julian asked without even standing or turning to face his tormentor.

"I wouldn't expect you to be." the faceless one shrugged. Three more of the masked figures entered the cell. "Your breaking point is far higher than the average man." he said with sarcasm.

"Is breaking me your goal then?" Julian asked with a shrug in turn, as if he had no care for the matter.

"If it serves my purpose." the leader replied. He gave a signal to his minions.

The goons reached for Julian's arms, but Julian jumped up and grabbed one of them by the neck, then one of the others struck him across the back. Julian was forced to let go and in the limited room of the cell he was easily pinned to the wall. The leader pulled a case from his pocket and then an old fashioned syringe from the case. He then jabbed the needle into Julian's thigh.

Julian forced himself not to flinch or cry out as the contents of the syringe were emptied into his body. It burned and he felt his heartbeat quicken and his body stiffen though he tried to force calm. He clenched his teeth, "Some form of truth serum, or maybe poison." He tried to make it sound like he didn't care which.

"Hardly." The leader laughed as he he twisted the needle. "There are worse things available for those of us who know where to look." there was pleasure in the man's voice.

Julian found himself losing control, as if his baser instincts were taking over. He felt urges that made his heart race and it was hard to breath.

"Tell me Doctor," the leader said with a smile in his voice as he pulled the needle out of Bashir and slipped it back into its case. "What is it like making love to a joined Trill of Dax's experience?"

The goons let go of Julian and he lunged for his chief tormentor, but crumpled to the floor in an undignified position.

"Having lived as both a man and a woman she must know ways to truly pleasure you." the Leader said as he half knelt beside Julian.

Julian's mind raced with images of Ezri. He tried not think of her but she consumed his mind. He knew now what the syringe had contained. It was the Andorian aphrodisiac Saff. An addictive substance that was one of the most abused narcotics of recent history. He had helped to treat more than one Saff addict and knew that he wasn't in for a pleasant time. The drug was usually smeared on the skin, quicker means of administering it often proving far too dangerous.

"I truly hope you enjoy my little gift." the Leader said. "I've taken time to perfect this way of administering Saff so that it shouldn't be fatal" He stood "I'm sure you'll have an interesting time." the man said with a half chuckle.

Julian began to shake uncontrollably as his tormentors left him to live out his drugged horror alone.


	7. A False Moment Of Self

The Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Seven: A False Moment of Self

---

Rationalizing that following has proven useless. It was very hard to write, and will never make sense to anyone. Not even me.

---

Julian had endured the same torture over again. Some times the syringe had Saff in it. Other times it was Red Ice Heroine that would make him vomit up what little food his captors gave him, but leave him with a pleasurable buzz as he hallucinated things he would rather not remember. Some times it was a neural blocker that left him unable to move while they beat him, and he would wake up hours later in unimaginable pain. Still other times it was nothing at all. That was the cruelest torture, because he never knew when the needle bore a reprieve, and he was no longer sure what reprieve was.

He had lost track of the time in his drugged stupors when he awoke to find himself with company in his misery. He looked up to find Sarina holding his aching head in her lap. He tried to speak, but his mouth was dry. He rolled out of her arms slowly and tried to steady himself on all fours as his stomach lurched up.

"Are you alright Julian?" she asked.

His stomach heaved again and he raised a finger as if to say, 'One moment.' The wave of nausea passed and he manage to work up some moisture in his mouth. "How long have you been here?" he asked her.

"I'm not sure." she said. "I was in my apartment, and then I was here."

Julian unfortunately was familiar with that story. He looked at her with dread in his eyes, "Have they tortured you yet?"

Her voice shook as she answered. "Not yet." She wore only a long gray wrap around gown of the same material as the dirty pants Julian wore.

"What do they want with us?" Sarina asked.

"I don't know." Julian answered. "They don't have goals that make sense to me." He managed to sit with his back against the bare wall. "They seam to be after people who are like us."

"Why?" she asked. "Why couldn't they just leave us alone?"

"They hate us Sarina." Julian said. "They hate us beyond reason."

---

Sarina had watched as they injected Julian again with some horrid concoction. The last time it had left him writhing on the floor in agony, and though she tried to comfort him he pushed her away. Their torture seemed focused on him, each administration driving him to the brink of madness. With her powerless to do anything but watch.

It was after the goons had left and she tried to cradle Julian in her arms that she noticed something different in his eyes. It was a hunger she couldn't understand. He did not shake as he seized her with more strength than he should have had. His lips on her lips, and his hands upon her breasts. "No Julian!" she cried, but he could not hear. She could not fight him. This was not real...

---

Julian looked down at Sarina's delicate face that was so much like a china doll. He could not dry the tears that he had caused. She had trusted him in his weakness and he had taken advantage of her. He may have been drugged, but he was not the animal that he had become.

He had no doubt that she had retreated from reality. Back to the world she had dwelt in before they had first met. Would she be able to make the return journey again? He doubted it, and it was all his fault.

He turned away from her and sat with his face on his knees, wrapping his arms around himself in the cell which was now an even colder place. And for the first time since he had been brought here, he did not care if his captors saw him cry.

---

It barely registered on Julian as his Chief Tormentor kicked him in the side to get his attention. It did register when he was seized by the hair. He found himself facing Sarina's limp form.

"This turned out far better than I expected." the distorted voice of the faceless one said with a laugh. "She trusted you, and you did her far more harm than I could have."

Julian was dropped to the floor, and the Tormentor's minions drug Sarina from the room. Leaving him alone once again, only this time he found himself preferring it. He could only wish for death now. Better death than to live on after what he'd done.

---

Once the door to Bashir's cell had closed, the Tormentor removed his mask to reveal the features of an older human male with dark brown hair that was white at the right temple. He looked back at the cell with a sinister smile. "Computer, end Sarina hologram." With that the limp form his minions had dropped on the floor disappeared.


	8. Turning the Knife

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (Or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Eight: Turning The Knife

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The following may just be the last chapter in this story. It allowed me to finally put things in writing that I'd never had the nerve to, and allowed me to give Bashir his day in court. That is something that I never had.

I edited this for content before posting, because I put more detail in it than is good for anyone to read. What follows is what is left. I hope that I was able to keep the emotion without the pornography. The emotion was really the more important part anyway.

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Miles O'Brien just barely managed to duck as the food tray flew past leaving green gelatin splattered across the wall next to him. He looked in the direction from which it came and found Dr Bashir arguing with a nurse.

"I'm sick of gelatin and broth." Julian protested. "If Dr. Gindis says I can't have anything more substantial yet, I'd rather starve."

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That bit of rebellion had taken more out of Julian than he'd expected, and he found himself slumping back into his pillow as soon as the nurse had turned away. It was then that he noticed Miles.

Miles didn't want to let on that he had seen Julian's moment of weakness. "Fine friend you are." he joked as he brushed down the front of his dress uniform. "Captain Sisko would have had my head if I showed up in a uniform with stains down the front." He then set Julian's own dress uniform on the foot of the bed.

Dr. Gindis entered in her Bajoran Militia dress gray uniform and gave Bashir a stern look. "What have I told you about terrorizing the nurses."

"I'll stop terrorizing the nurses when you let me out of here." Julian said in defiance.

The nurse came in carrying a new tray with the same kind of food that Bashir had already refused and handed it to Dr. Gindis. "I agreed to let you out of here for Neko Sephrina's trial on the condition that you behave and that I accompany you." She set the tray in front of him, "If you don't eat what I prescribed you don't go." She handed him the spoon, "It's that simple."

Julian gave her a look that would have cut through most people. His right hand was completely useless for the time being and was encased in a metallic splint, so he took the spoon in his left hand. He then scooped up a bite of the vile gelatin, and swallowed it while making the most grotesque face possible.

"Dramatics will get you no where with me Julian." she said as she moved a chair in for her to sit on as she watched him eat.

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Captain Sisko watched from the back as the Wardroom filled. Nine Bajoran Jurors brought up from the planet, Bajoran and Starfleet security acting as bailiffs. Odo had already brought in the accused.

Neko Sephrina was a tall and what some would consider beautiful Bajoran woman with dark hair and eyes. She was well muscled and well dressed. She could have any man on the station she wanted, but what she wanted wasn't love or even just sex. She had violated and nearly killed one of his senior officers. He would never be able to understand why, but he wasn't here to understand. He was here to prove that she was guilty.

Worf and Dax entered practically dragging Quark. Then came Julian.

Sisko nearly winced when he saw Julian. He was in a wheelchair with a high back so that he could rest his head, still hooked to an IV and to machines that were still filtering the poisons from his blood three days later. Dr. Gindis had said he would make a full recovery, but the damage to his kidneys, his liver and many of his other organs would take time. His right arm was in a sling. The damage to the tendons had taken three hours of surgery to put back together correctly. One of the worst injuries for a surgeon was to damage his hands, but that wasn't the worst thing that had happened to Julian at Sephrina's ministrations. Not by a long shot.

O'Brien was pushing the wheelchair and Dr. Gindis was right behind them with a medical kit and what looked like a miniature oxygen tank with a mask.

Sisko went straight to Dr. Gindis. "Is he strong enough to testify."

Gindis looked a Sisko with concern. "He can tell them what happened," she pointed to the jury, "but the second I think he's too stressed I'm taking him back to the infirmary."

Sisko nodded, then bent down to Julian's level. "You don't have to do this Julian." he took Julian's good hand. "We have your statement, and the evidence that Odo found."

Bashir looked up at Sisko with a coldness in his eyes. "By Bajoran law it is my right to face my attacker."

"I know it's your right Julian," Sisko looked down, "but are you up to it?"

"It's something I need to do."

There was pleading in Julian's voice that another man might have missed. "Alright Julian, but the instant Dr. Gindis says it's time to go, it's time to go."

Julian nodded.

"You and Dr. Gindis can sit over here until you are called to the stand." Sisko motioned to a place behind the prosecution's table where a space had been left open for the wheelchair.

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It was just after Julian had been moved into position that a Bajoran deputy entered the room and called out, "All rise, the Honorable Magistrate Tepankor Jaxa presiding."

The command was soon followed by the entrance of a somewhat bookish looking Bajoran woman with graying hair, who took her seat at the head of the makeshift courtroom. Then a young Bajoran man with rumpled clothes who carried a stack of padds so large that he dropped two and then had to regather them all when he bent to pick up the ones he'd lost. He quickly reorganized them and set them on the desk in front of the Magistrate. The man with the padds had been introduced to Sisko earlier as Tepankor's assistant Mr. Arben.

"You may all be seated." said Magistrate Tepankor. She then banged a ball shaped gavel on the table as she looked at the top padd in the stack. "This calls the trial of the people vs Neko Sephrina to order. I will ask that both counsels approach the bench."

Sisko stepped forward along with a well dressed Bajoran man who's earring was by far the most ostentatious and tasteless thing that Sisko had ever seen on anyone, even Kai Winn couldn't top it.

The defense counsel spoke. "I must object to the Emissary acting as counsel for the Prosecution."

"I am aware of your objection Mr. Gebna," said the Magistrate, "but since the incident in question happened on this station, which is administrated by Captain Sisko, it is under his authority to name himself as Prosecutor ." She looked up from her padd, "So your objection is irrelevant."

Tepankor looked at Sisko. "I see that Dr. Bashir is present Captain." She looked at another padd briefly. "Does that mean that he will be testifying?"

"It is his wish to testify." Sisko looked back at Julian. "I don't know if he will be able to remain in the courtroom very long though."

"Call him first." said Tepankor. "We will hear him as soon as the opening statements are concluded."

"If Dr. Gindis says that the testimony is too much for him.?" Sisko asked.

"Then we will continue with other witnesses." said Tepankor. She banged the gavel down again. "We will now hear the opening statement for the prosecution."

Sisko took a deep breath and turned to face the Jury as Mr. Gebna took his seat.

"We are here today in the honor of justice." Sisko said. "Not just justice for Bajor, but for every sentient being. It is my job to show you how Neko Sephrina has denied the rights of sentients everywhere to a fellow living being. That she did drug Dr. Julian Bashir with an illegal substance that is poisonous to humans, without his knowledge, and against his will. That she did willfully commit violations of his body that he did not consent to, and that her actions caused him bodily harm and did very nearly cost him his life." At this Sisko took his seat.

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Julian looked at the faces of the jurors then back to Dr. Gindis and finally to Captain Sisko. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself.

"Would you please state your full name for the record?" the flustered Mr. Arben asked.

"Dr. Julian Subitoy Bashir." He answered.

"And you are?" Arben continued.

"I am the Chief Medical Officer of space station Deep Space Nine and a Starfleet officer with the rank of Lieutenant."

"Do you swear that all statements you will give to this court are truthful?"

"I do." said Bashir.

Sisko stepped forward, "How long have you been assigned to this post Doctor?"

"I have been the Chief Medical Officer of this station for just over four years," Julian answered, "Ever since the Cardassians retreated from Bajoran space."

"How did you meet Ms. Neko Sephrina?" Sisko asked.

"Four days ago I was having lunch in Quark's." Julian looked down. "She asked if she could share my table."

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Dr. Bashir had just ordered his lunch and was sitting at a table on the upper level of Quark's. The place was absolutely packed at this hour. A Bajoran woman in a very flattering red dress came up to his table and leaned over.

"I hope you don't mind if I share your table," she said, "I just can't see anywhere else in here to sit down."

Julian stood up and offered her a seat. "I don't mind sharing my table, if you don't mind sharing your name."

"I'm Sephrina," she said as she sat down, "Neko Sephrina."

"It's good to meet you Ms. Neko." Julian said as he sat back down.

"No," She objected, "please call me Sephrina."

"Only if you'll call me Julian." he said with a smile.

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"So you agreed to meet her after your shift was over and give her a tour of the station" said Sisko.

Julian nodded, "That is correct."

"And what happened when you went to meet her?" Sisko asked.

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Sephrina answered the door to her quarters wearing a robe with a towel rapped around her head. "I'm running a little late Julian." She gestured to the couch. "If you'd care to have a seat I can get you a drink while you wait."

Julian made his way to the couch, "A synthale please." he said as he took a seat on the couch. "I'm still on call." he said as he readjusted his his comm badge on his blue civilian shirt. He had taken a shower after his shift and changed into civilian clothes, because he didn't think it would be polite to arrive covered in what his last patient had so graciously expelled all over the infirmary.

Sephrina handed him a full glass and made her way back into the bedroom where she could dress.

Julian drank nearly half of the synthale in one gulp and leaned back into the couch trying to relax. He closed his eyes for what seemed like a moment and when he opened them the room started to spin.

Sephrina reentered the room wearing a black dress that seemed more appropriate on a dobo girl. "Are you ready." she asked.

Julian tried to stand, "I don't feel so well." He managed to stand and was heading for the door. "I think I need to go back to my own quarters and lie down."

Sephrina put a hand on his shoulder, "Why don't you lie down here."

"I don't think that would be appropriate." he said. He tried to make it to the door.

"Oh, but I insist." said Sephrina. She had him by the shirt collar, and was steering him toward the bedroom.

"I would rather go to my own quarters." Bashir insisted yet again. He turned toward the door and he heard his shirt rip.

"I could make it worth your while to stay." said Sephrina, as she pulled off Julian's now ripped shirt.

Julian tried to fight her, but found himself on his knees. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Sephrina asked as she she helped Julian to the floor and began to kiss his bare chest.

"I didn't come here for this." Julian protested.

"What have you got to lose Julian." She said.

He moved his hands to try and stop her, though he didn't have the strength. "I didn't come here for this!" he repeated more firmly.

Julian found his heart racing...

He shuddered as he felt her hands on his bare skin...

"No Sephrina," he pleaded, "please don't!"

He was paralyzed with fear and by the weakness of his body...

He tried to find his communicator, but he couldn't see it...

This was not happening...

He could not move...

He did not want this...

Her nails pierce the skin on his back as he tried to struggle...

He felt his stomach tighten, and he wanted to retch...

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When the violation had ended he found the strength to move, though his body felt like lead. He found his communicator in the folds of his discarded shirt. He activated it with one touch, and said the only thing that came to mind. "Help."

Sephrina came to life with that and smacked him across the face. "You don't need help you ungrateful..." She stood and kicked him in the ribs. She grabbed a chair from the near by table and threw it against the wall. It was smashed to pieces and she beat Julian with the one leg.

Julian tried to grab the chair leg, but once she had finished with it she grabbed a knife off of the table.

They struggled with the knife and when she tried to aim for his chest Julian put up his right hand to block the blow, the knife went clean through flesh and bone as she tried to twist it loose she learned it would not move.

It was then that Julian finally blacked out.

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Dr. Gindis held the oxygen mask to Julian's face. "I need to get him a shot of Reglazine." she said to the Deputy. "If you could just hold this up to his face." The Deputy did as he was told, and Dr. Gindis managed to deliver the hypo to Bashir's neck.

Julian pushed the mask aside as the shot took affect. "I didn't go to her quarters with the intent of having sex with her." He struggled for a calm that was not there.

"I object your Honor." Sisko's voice boomed over Bashir's. "Mr. Gebna is leading the witness, and making personal attacks against a man who is too ill to defend himself."

Magistrate Tepankor banged the gavel down "Objection sustained." she said. "This is not the place to make such lewd comments, Mr. Gebna. It is a matter of whether Dr. Bashir consented to what Ms. Neko did at the time it was done." She looked over to Julian, "Dr. Bashir, when you entered Ms. Neko's quarters, did you consent to being drugged?"

Julian took a deep breath. "No your Honor, I did not."

"When you entered Ms. Neko's quarters, did you consent to being beaten with a chair leg or being stabbed through the hand?"

"No your Honor." Julian's voice grew a little weaker.

"Did you consent to committing sexual acts with the defendant Ms. Neko?"

"No." Julian's eyes rolled back and his head fell forward.

Dr. Gindis ran a tricorder over Bashir. "I am afraid your Honor, that your witness has passed out, and I am demanding that he be excused from any further testimony."

"You are out of order." yelled Mr. Gebna.

The magistrate banged the gavel again. "No Mr. Gebna, It is you that are out of order." Tepankor signaled to the deputy. "You will help Dr. Gindis to remove the witness to the infirmary."

The room filled with chaos in the wake of Julian's removal, and the Magistrate was forced to bang down the gavel repeatedly. "Under Bajoran law I declare that Dr. Bashir's right of testimony has been fulfilled. Furthermore I do now rule that he cannot be recalled to the stand for further testimony or cross examination." she gave Mr. Gebna a very cold stare. "This court is at recess until tomorrow at 11:00 hours. At which time the Prosecution may call its next witness." Magistrate Tepankor banged down the gavel and left before anyone else could object.

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Sisko, Dax and O'Brien stood in a room just off the patient ward in the Infirmary.

"I think that Julian's testimony was very moving, but far too risky Benjamin." Jadzia said.

"Since this trial is being run by Bajoran law I had to let him take the stand Old Man." Sisko said as he looked over to where they were tending to Julian. "Now that the Magistrate has ruled that Julian can't be recalled to the stand I don't intend to let him leave this infirmary before the verdict is read."

"I'm sure Dr, Gindis will back you up on that one." said O'Brien.

Dr. Gindis came just within earshot at that last remark. "Back who up on what?" she asked.

"Back me up on keeping Julian here until the trial is over." said Sisko.

"I'll back you up on that and then some." the Bajoran said under her breath. "He's resting right now. I can't allow any visitors until tomorrow."

"Is he getting any better?" O'Brien asked.

Gindis took a deep breath, "He's had a minor set back today, but he will still recover physically from the beating and Ejanik powder that he was given." She looked back at her sleeping patient. "It will take longer for him to recover from everything else."

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"Will you please state your full name for the record?" Mr. Arben asked.

"My Name is Odo." the Constable answered.

"My records list your name as Odo E'tal." said Arben.

"Then your records are incorrect." Odo said with a stern look. "I dropped the E'tal some time ago."

"May I ask why?" Arben questioned.

"Is it relevant?" Odo asked.

"It is not relevant." said Tepankor. "Move on Mr. Arben."

Arben frowned, "What is your position on this station?"

"I am the Station's Chief of Security."

"Do you swear that all statements you will give this court are true?" Arben asked.

"I do." said Odo.

Sisko stepped forward, "When the call for help that we just heard was received by security, who was the first person to respond to that call?"

"Deputy Sarn and Ensign Kia'ac arrived before me, but I was the first to enter Ms. Neko's quarters." said Odo.

"What did you find when you entered those quarters?"

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"Computer, Security override on privacy seal to guest quarters 38J." Odo said. The door opened and Odo entered followed by his men with their phasers drawn. What they saw was not what Odo expected. A Bajoran woman was kicking the prone form of Dr. Bashir. He was bleeding and bruised, and nearly naked.

When his men had pulled the woman aside, Odo knelt at Bashir's side and felt for a pulse. "Dr. Bashir," he asked, "Can you hear me?" There was no response, and Odo could barely discern that Julian was alive. Odo activated his communicator, "Odo to Infirmary, we have a medical emergency in 38J."

"I'll call Dr. Bashir." came the voice of one of Bashir's nurses over the comm channel.

"Dr. Bashir _is _the medical emergency." Odo called out. It was then that Julian went into convulsions. "You better get someone here quickly, because I don't think he can be transported." Odo tried to hold his friends head until Dr. Gindis arrived by transporter.

Dr. Gindis ran a tricorder over Julian as the convulsions ended. "He's been poisoned."

"What kind of poison?" Odo asked.

Gindis shook her head, "I need a sample if I'm going to treat him."

Odo stood and looked at the woman. "What did you give him?"

"I gave him nothing." Sephrina spat back.

It was then that Odo noticed the glass on the floor where it had fallen. He ran his own tricorder over the puddle on the floor. "Ejanik powder." he said to Dr. Gindis. "He was given Ejanik powder."

Dr. Gindis activated her communicator. "Gindis to infirmary, prepare surgery for a human and have a blood filtration unit ready." She loaded a hypo with an anti-toxin and gave it to Bashir. "Gindis to Ops, two for transport to the infirmary." she placed a hand on Julian's chest. "Energize."

Once Gindis and Bashir had disappeared Odo looked at Sephrina, "Do you have any idea how deadly Ejanik is to humans?"

"Why should I care?" She asked.

"Because you may find yourself on trial for murder."

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"Did you actually find evidence that it was Ms. Neko who put the Ejanik in Dr. Bashir's drink?" Mr. Gebna asked.

"Deputy Sarn found a case with a small amount of the substance in her personal belongings." Odo Answered. "It is illegal to posses Ejanik powder in both Bajoran and Federation space."

"You have already stated that you believe any sexual relations between my client and Dr. Bashir were not consensual on Dr. Bashir's part." said Mr. Gebna. "Can you tell the court why you believe that?"

"Because his shirt was torn from behind." said Odo. "If he had torn it off himself it would have been torn from the front."

"Are you certain of that fact?"

Odo gave Mr. Gebna a very sour look and harrumphed. "I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't certain."

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Dr. Gindis, You were the first person to give Dr. Bashir an examination after the incident in question." Sisko did not ask this, but stated it as a fact.

"That is correct." said the Bajoran.

"What was his condition at that time?" Sisko asked.

"He had multipal contusions, cuts on his back that most likely came from Ms. Neko's fingernails, three broken ribs, several tendons and bones in his right hand that were cut and broken, and a concussion. He was also unconscious, having a hypoxic seizure, and was very near to complete respiratory arrest."

"What had caused him to be in such a state?"

"He had been poisoned with Ejanik and physically assaulted."

"Was there evidence that he had engaged in sexual activity with the defendant?"

"He was nearly naked and had his own seamen and the defendants DNA on his genitals. There were traces of her saliva and vaginal fluid."

"In your medical opinion, is it possible that the sexual activity was consensual on Dr. Bashir's part?"

"The rate of genetic degradation of the bodily fluids and the rate of metabolization of the Ejanik in Dr. Bashir's system would indicate that he ingested the drug before the sexual activity took place." Gindis looked down a moment. "That would lead to the conclusion that it was not consensual on Julian's part."

"What is Ejanik powder Dr. Gindis?" Sisko asked for the court to hear..

Gindis took a deep breath before she answered. "Ejanik is a drug that is refined from the Janik plant on Bajor's Southern continent."

"What does the drug do?"

"In Bajorans it causes euphoria and sexual arousal." Gindis answered.

"So it is an aphrodisiac?" Sisko asked for clarification.

"To Bajorans it is, and it is illegal."

"Why is it illegal?"

"Because it can be used to coerce someone into having sexual relations against their will. Cardassians sometimes used it on comfort women for that purpose."

"Is this use common now?"

"More common than most Bajoran's would like to admit."

"What would happen to a Human given The same amount of Ejanik it would take to coerce a Bajoran into sexual relations?"

"They would die."

"Why is that, and why is Dr. Bashir still alive."

"In a Bajoran it causes euphoria, in a human it can cause both voluntary and involuntary paralysis as well as seizures. They could stop breathing, or swallow their tongue. The throat can swell shut in some cases. If they survive the first stages of poisoning it causes the liver and kidneys to shut down. They can die from build up of toxins in their own blood, or be left with permanent paralysis from muscle and nerve damage."

"The reason why Julian is still alive is that he didn't actually ingest the whole glass of synthale. He didn't receive the entire dose that Ms. Neko had given him. And he was able to call for help and receive treatment before the drug's effects hit the second stage. With proper treatment he can make a full recovery."

"Was Dr. Bashir aware of the effects of Ejanik poisoning in Humans before that night in Ms. Neko's quarters?"

"He treated four cases of the condition before that night."

"And what happened to those cases Dr. Gindis?"

"Two of them died before making it to the infirmary, and were believed to be members of The Orion Syndicate looking for a new product to sell." Dr. Gindis answered. "The second one was just experimenting and only took a little with his Bajoran girlfriend. He survived, but had to have one of his kidneys removed. The last one was a suicide that took twice the lethal dose before being found in a holosuite. She died after two days on life support."

"Thank you Dr. Gindis." Sisko said before taking his seat.

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Julian had watched Dr. Gindis's testimony from a view screen in the infirmary. It was not easy to watch as his condition was described in detail. he found himself staring at the splint on his hand and seeing the knife wedged between the bones again. Reliving the violation in his mind. He would live with that memory for the rest of his life. The memory of what had been taken from him against his will.

As this day's testimony ended he wondered how the next day would go. Would the Jury see the truth, or would they twist the knife into him further.

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"Mr. O'Brien, is it not true that Dr. Bashir's girlfriend left him recently?" Mr. Gebna asked.

"He and Leeta did split up recently, but I don't see what relevance that has here." O'Brien answered.

"Was your friend deeply upset about the break up?" Gebna was reaching.

"What are you trying to imply, sir?" Miles was a little confused.

"We just heard Dr. Gindis say that one of the cases of Ejanik poisoning on this station was a suicide."

O'Brien tried hard to stifle a laugh.

"Do you find the notion funny Mr. O'Brien?" Mr. Gebna asked as he grew incensed.

"Yes I do." O'Brien said with more than a little anger. "Julian may not have been completely happy about breaking up with Leeta, but he was hardly distraught."

Mr. Gebna turned away from O'Brien. "No further questions, Your Honor" he said as he took his seat.

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Julian was staring at the monitor above his bed with more than a little anger about Mr. Gebna's line of questioning. This trial was nothing more than a farce to Sephrina and her lawyer. With him as the butt of the joke. "Could someone please turn that monitor off." he yelled to where Dr. Gindis was examining a group of new transfers.

Gindis signaled to one of the nurses to do as Bashir had requested. "There was a reason why I thought you might be better off if you didn't watch the rest of the trial." She finished with the last crewmen, and walked over to Julian. "Do you want to be there when the verdict is read?" she looked down as she asked, pretending to readjust her tricorder.

"Does it matter if I am?" Julian asked.

"To the court it won't," Gindis said, "but to you it might."

Bashir thought about the comment. "I would like to be there, but only if I can walk into the room on my own power this time."

"I think you're strong enough for that." she said running the tricorder over him. "I can take you off the blood filtration unit in another hour." Gindis put her tricorder away. "Your liver and kidneys have responded to the enzymatic treatment enough that you should only need one more treatment tomorrow," she took his right hand, "and I can remove this splint now."

Once his hand was free Julian flexed it and winced. "I'll probably need some physical therapy to get my dexterity back."

Gindis cocked her head to the left. "A little, but you'll be back preforming neural surgery in a week." She smiled at Julian, "But you'll be sleeping in your own bed tonight."

Julian leaned back into his pillow and sighed. "That sounds really good to me."

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Sisko's voice was strong and unwavering when he spoke. "The defense has tried to paint Ms. Neko as an abused woman. A former victim of the occupation who was nothing more than a sex object to her Cardassian masters. That may be true, but it does not excuse what was done to Dr. Bashir."

"They have tried to prove some doubt about Dr. Bashir's story. That he wanted to have sex with Ms. Neko , that it was she trying to fend him off, yet there wasn't a mark on her."

"Ms. Neko has refused to take the stand in her own defense, and has not been able to prove that her encounter was anything other than what it appears to be. A clear cut case of rape and assault by her on Dr. Bashir."

"Her statements before this trial began were that she was not aware that Ejanik was poisonous to Humans, and that the Ejanik in Dr. Bashir's synthale was not put there by her." Sisko took a deep breath. "But if she didn't put it there who did, and why was it found in her possession and not Dr. Bashir's. Is her ignorance of Ejanik's toxic nature to humans an excuse for her poisoning Dr. Bashir with it." he paused for effect. "I don't think it is, and I'm certain she knows that."

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Julian sat at the table in his quarters and was just finishing the last bite of his breakfast when the door chimed. "Come in." he said as he wiped the last bit of jam from his mouth with a napkin. Captain Sisko entered and Julian stood up to greet him unfortunately he stood a little too fast and found himself reaching for the chair again to steady himself. Sisko saw how unsteady Bashir was and rushed forward to help him, but Julian gestured for him to stand back. "It's just a little vertigo, it will pass."

Ben straightened up, and brushed his dress tunic smooth. "I'll just have to take your word for that."

Julian looked at his commanding officer with hurt eyes. "I just have to remember to stand up more slowly for a few days."

Sisko took a deep breath, "The verdict is in." he said. "They are just waiting for everyone to be present before it is read."

Julian was already wearing his dress trousers and a gray undershirt, and had left his dress tunic draped across the back of the chair in his living room. He picked up a hypospray from the table and placed the injector to the inside of his left forearm, giving himself a dose of the hypo's contents. Then he put on his dress tunic. "I'm as ready as I'm going to get."

Sisko reached out to Julian and straightened his communicator then nodded his approval. "You look a lot better than you did when this trial began."

Julian nodded at the comment and headed for the door. "Let's just get this over with."

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Julian actually stood for the Magistrate this time, and he held his breath as she called for the Jury Foreman to read the verdict. "On the charge of Possession of an Illegal Substance we find the Defendant Neko Sephrina Guilty." said the young Bajoran man. "On the charge of Assault with an Illegal Substance we find the Defendant Neko Sephrina Guilty." The Foreman took a breath. "On the charge of First Degree Physical Assault we find the Defendant Neko Sephrina Guilty." The Foreman looked directly at Bashir, then back down to the padd in front of him. "On the Charge of First Degree Sexual Assault, we find the Defendant Neko Sephrina Guilty." The Foreman lowered the padd he was reading from. "On the charge of Attempted Slaughter of a Sentient, we the Jury find the Defendant Neko Sephrina Guilty."

As the last verdict was read Sephrina reached out with her hand and struck her lawyer Mr. Gebna across the face. "You are an idiot!" she yelled.

Magistrate Tepankor banged her gavel down demanding order. "You will remove the Defendant from the court room."

Once Sephrina was gone Tepankor banged down the gavel again. "This court has found the Defendant Guilty of violent and heinous crimes against a Federation Citizen. I am therefore ordering that she be remanded to the custody of Federation Security for sentencing and rehabilitation." She looked to Sisko. "She is all yours Captain." She banged down the gavel one last time. "This trial is concluded."

It was only once the wardroom began to clear that Julian remembered to breathe again. He had won, and lost at the same time. He had won because his attacker was convicted, but at the same time he had lost because the part of him that was still denying that it had ever happened had to come to terms with the fact that it actually had.

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Julian sat at a table on the upper level of Quark's. He was a few tables over from where he had first met Sephrina, and though he tried not to look at that now empty table, he couldn't help himself.

Jadzia came up behind him and said, "You look like a man that is crossing his own path."

Julian turned back to face the Trill. "I don't think I've ever heard that one before."

"It means that you have returned to the scene of the crime." said Dax.

"I still don't get what you mean." Julian admitted. "The scene of the crime isn't anywhere near here."

"Not the crime committed against you." Jadzia said as she took a seat next to Bashir. "The place in time that you wish to start over from."

Bashir nodded, finally understanding. "The place where I could have brushed her out of my life, before she'd had a chance to hurt me."

"It isn't your fault Julian." Dax said. "You could never have known what she was planning in her head." She put her hand on his shoulder. "You need to quit turning the knife on yourself."

"I keep telling myself that." said Julian. He shrugged "Maybe one day I'll believe it." At that he finished what was left of his drink. Then he slowly stood up and walked out the upper level door.

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	9. Dear Julian

Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (Or Sue's Revenge)

by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff

Chapter Nine: Dear Julian

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Dear Julian,

I'm finally over you.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I no longer feel the need to hurt you.

I can see that my pain was never your fault. I've known that for some time. It wasn't you that hurt me. It was the world at large. You were just my convenient whipping boy.

I'm sorry for that.

I think I finally realized I was over you the other night. It wasn't something big. It was just something unusual for me. A Dream that was no longer dark. For there was no torture in the theme.

In a strange way you healed all the things I wished you could heal the day I first saw you on my T.V. Though I may never be able to explain how.

I dreamed that you were preforming an old fashion C-Section and I was your nurse and your patient at the same time. Your equal and your charge. (A confusing perspective I assure you.)

Not your tormentor, or even you, as I have been these many years. And the child cut from my womb was not really a child, but all the hurt in my heart that was poisoning my soul. Excised like a tumor in one simple procedure. All of that baggage was just suddenly gone.

Since that night I look at you, and all I see, is the beloved fiction that you are a part of. Not the man. Not the victim. Not my surrogate self. Just the words on the page, or the picture on my T.V. screen.

I would bid you now Goodbye. For it would seem I no longer need you. I step now into a world of reality. I would thank you, but I'm not sure there are words for the thanks that I could give.

Lyda Mae Huff 6/4/2005

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Dear Mr. Alexander Siddig or Siddig El Fadil,

I think I could face you as a real person now. So if you care to look me up the next time you are at a convention in Northern Utah, maybe we could talk about what it was like to grow up in England as compared to Tooele (aka Nerve Gas County, Utah). Weather and politics are open subjects as well, depending on how much you like a good debate.

Lyda Mae Huff


End file.
